Thursday, May 6, 2010

Why?

I remember our end like it was yesterday...
Your words and actions, 
Left such an impression on my heart.
I try to erase the memories that haunt me,
But it's hard to shed the hurtful layers,
Of what you exposed me to.
I don't think I will ever understand,
Why you hurt me so bad.
I listen to music…
Certain songs that take me back…
I wonder if you know,
How powerful your toxic words affected me.
I still remember your tone,
The expression in your lying eyes,
And the astonishment I felt-
When you thought you had the right,
To speak so callously to me.
Why did you do that?
I would and could have never been that cruel to you.
It's not in my heart…my soul does not carry that gene-
To utterly disrespect the feelings of another human,
Especially, one I claimed to love.
Its been years since we were together…
The detox my mind and body have gone through,
Has been extensive to say the least.
I despise what you did to me...
The layer of mistrust you introduced me to,
And the broken heart you sculpted in me-
It wasn't right on so many levels.
I can't examine or begin to understand your complications,
I really don't care to know how you operate.
All I know, is you cracked me…
I think your goal was to break me,
But this, you did not accomplish.
There was something much stronger-
Then your desires that protected me.
This invisible shield knew my life was worth more,
Then what I lived with you.


5 comments:

  1. Why? thats is deep, very deep...

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  2. Butterfly,

    I have read almost all of your entries and stricken with hardships of love. How your heart has ever been able to mend is beyond me. Next time I visit Mt.Olympus I will have a stern word with Eros to make sure there is a reason for all of your love woes (and there is a reason). Nevertheless your persistance in the hunt for love is awe inspiring and only worth a God's worth in gold.

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  3. Butterfly:

    I feel your pain.......sounding so similar to my past. I know I am a true optimist...very resilient!!!
    I had to shelf the "why"......because I realize it was not important anymore. It wouldn't change what had happened and it kept me from my forward movement..........it stagnated my healing and my ability to find happiness. I guess as a true optimist I continue to put my heart out their in hopes of finding the one that deserved it and will fill it. Knowing I risk the chance of being hurt. I know I will never loose the desire to find that person who deserves me and who I deserve :)

    <3

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