Thursday, May 20, 2010


"You know that I love you,
You are the only person in this world who knows the real me.
I am sorry I didn't treat you so well."
Blah, blah, blah.
It's the same rhetoric I heard for years.
In the past your words would confuse me,
I would start at "A" and end at "36",
There was no rhyme or reason,
To defend any argument because I was so lost.
You would stab me in the heart with your actions,
Then hug and kiss me and tell me how sorry you were,
And I would believe you in a delusional way. 
But that was then, and now is very different.
Time has separated our entanglement and I wonder,
What is the point of sharing feelings,
More so, what is the point of bringing up anything,
That has no relevance to our lives today?
I was lucky enough to see the light,
And escape the darkness you introduced me to.
And to think I want any reminder of those days,
Is clearly an inaccurate assumption.
You were a facade...
A leach of sorts who sucked anything good from me,
To better yourself. 
And at expense of what, the collapse of my spirit?
But not anymore love,
Your web of lies and foolish behavior,
No longer fool me.
I see right through you and your every effort,
To try and make me feel bad.
I have nothing to regret, I harbor no ill feelings,
And to be quite honest,
Wish nothing but the best for you.
You were a huge lesson in my life,
And for that, I will be eternally grateful.
So today, all that is left to be said is,
Adios, Au revoir, Goodbye~


  1. Butterfly,

    As I read this entry I am listening in the background to my one of favorite songs from Sade "I couldnt Love you More" truly a beautiful song and fitting background music whilst I read this entry. Just reminds me how thin the line between love and hate really is.LOVE is probably if not one of the few emotions that we as humans dont have control
    over.When have you ever told yourself "I am not going to fall in love." What I mean to say is that though love is unequivocally our greatest virtue but it sometimes can be our fatalist vice.... how can something so pure and pure have the posibility of turning our emotional status into mush.Nevertheless we press on ever hopefull of finding that emotion we long for. Really loved the entry good job!!! The best way I have learned to cope with these emotions is to leave it to the Gods they are always there for me. "ad majorem Dei gloriam"

  2. Butterfly:

    I sitting with WOW playing in my Are you sure you don't have ESP or a crystal ball? WOW.....I actually said many of those things. With the last being "If you REALLY love me forever......Then let me go, just let me go". Once blindly in love with him, he was able to drain every drop of love out of me.....which made it possible for me to walk away. To say I am DONE........thanks for all the lessons :) I realized a few months back without that final event I very well would have remained blind to his treatment and stayed. That he actually did me a favor. Once my heart had emptied.....I saw him for what he was With that revelation.......I was able to forget. Stop those memories from playing in my head like a bad movie. It came so easy....without effort. I am currently working on forgiving isn't something I am putting any effort into.........I know given enough time away from him it will happen.
    I came away stronger, wiser, and grateful to be experiencing the life I have today. I am truly blessed!